Fairy Day Trail and On On On

Ahhh. The joy that was the Fairy Day Trail.....either 9.9 or 10.19 miles long, depending on which GPS you go by.

The pack must've been too tired to make the hares drink a lot. Only got called out a handful of times.


Beggar's Lice!


The On On On was at Chon Som for karaoke night. Here's a line of sake bombs.




Looks like Gagger wins another tongue challenge.

Had such a great time. Why did I stay out until 3:15am on a school night??? Let's just say that Monday was a rough one...once I actually woke up!

All the pics are here.

Slezak's Party

So after laying trail for 4 hours with Elvis, it was time to get cleaned up and hit C. Hunt's Icehouse for Slezak's birthday/green card party. Can you read the small print on his shirt? It says, "This is not a political statement." hee hee hee....

At last call, everyone went in to buy buckets of beer. Yummy.

Had such a great time. Ended up getting home just after 4am. I know this because the last drunken text message I sent out was at 4:13am and I had just crawled into bed.

You can see all of the pics from the party here.

Way to go Big-gi-o!

Congrats to Craig Biggio for being the 27th member to join the 3000 Hits Club! Of course, I had hoped he'd hit it this Saturday since I will be at that game. Oh well, at least I caught it on TV during the AD pub run last night. Wasn't quite the same as being in Houston, but what can you do?

Of Poison Ivy, Stings and Bites (and Beggar's Lice!)

Strap-On Elvis with his fairy flour.

He had searched the web for something that happened on June 24....turns out that June 24 is National Fairy Day. Hilarious!

So last Saturday, June 23, Elvis and I met up to lay part of our trail. He had previously driven me by all the areas he had scouted and everything seemed ok. Possibly a little long, but he claimed it was about 6-7 miles. Well, 4 hours later and we had only laid about half of trail!

It was one of those.....oooh, let's lay trail over here, then we got to a NASTY area that we didn't want to make the pack go further into so it became a long false. Back to the last check we'd go. The first creek we got into was pretty nasty. Elvis told me to make sure my shoe laces were tied tightly...not a good sign. Oh yeah, and there was poison ivy/oak EVERYWHERE. Yucky, muddy water that went up to my knees and you had to lift your legs up hard each time because the creek wanted to eat your shoes. I started to get a bad feeling about this area. Seemed very snake friendly. Lots of little branches sticking up out of the water. Just creepy. Told Elvis I didn't like it at all. He didn't either, so we left. Think that ended up being a blow job. Guess we should have marked out that check, but I don't think anyone went in at that point anyway. What do you know....Tuck It Up The Butt started to head down into the creek on Sunday until he saw a water moccasin! Holy smokes! That freaked me out when he told me. I KNEW I wanted to get out of that nasty creek.

So the next thing that happened to us while laying trail was getting stuck in an area that we couldn't get out of. After making our way through tons more poison ivy, being careful not to step in the gazillion ant piles and wading through another part of the muddy creek, we were all of a sudden surrounded by a nursery, a paint ball complex and a nasty wetland area. We thought the creek connected to the creek down the street, but only after it went through this horrible marsh crap. We spent an hour and a half back in this area. More wasted time. This turned into a long back check. :)

So we finally get back to laying trail...now on streets. Decided to have a beer check at the house Elvis just purchased. I think he closes in a month. Super cute neighborhood. While on the way to the 2nd beer check area, I decided to take more pics of all the flowers we spotted on trail....I mean, it WAS the fairy day trail and don't fairies like flowers??

Well, something freakin stung me while walking through this area. And Wanksgiving was stung the next day in that same area while on trail. Not sure what it was, but ouchy!


By this time we are totally out of flour and just had to walk back to the car while making sure that the area we wanted trail to go, would actually work out. We found a way back into the creek...and this time it was clear with a relatively flat rock bottom. This led into a little falls area where we would have the last beer check. Awesome area.



Ant bites? Chigger bites? Whatever it is, it's not letting me wear skirts to work!


After dropping Elvis off at his car at the start, it was time to eat a quick sandwich, shower and hit Slezak's big birthday party at C. Hunt's. No time for rest!

Father's Day Hash

Laying the Mount Bonnell View Check

The group that hit BOTH beer checks.


The day after Keep Austin Weird 5K, I hared the hash on Father's Day. We had folks wear ties in honor of Daddy's Day, but only about half the pack wore them. :(
Mine was plaid, of course! You can see all of the pics here.

KAW 5K...never again!

On Friday, June 15, I met Follow the Bleeder (FV) and Finger Pickin' Good up at Lovejoy's for happy hour pre-lube to KAW. Squeef and A Bill Named Sue were also up there. Pretty small hasher showing. From there we went to Deep Eddy to meet up with Two Drinks and Pornarotti. Had some good times and lots of beer. And got hit on by a regular at Deep Eddy's...who could be my grandfather! WTF?




Saturday I met FTB and FPG downtown for the Keep Austin Weird events. Didn't register this year because the course sucked last year. Planned on walking the 5K up until the AH3 beer booth, then was going to pass out beer to the runners. WELLLLL, the freakin cops shut down our booth! Something about the open container law. So I did the 5K and just had fun taking pictures of all the crazy outfits. Oh yeah...and only ONE fun booth along the way to stop at. Amy's Ice Cream was giving out samples. Other than that, just a normal 5K. Keep Austin Corporate.




Hands down, my favorite group outfit was this one. AWESOME! So awesome, I'd love to copy it for a future event. :) Oh yeah, and the Black Knight fought another one right before crossing the finish line. None Shall Pass! Hilarious!


After the run, we were headed to Fado since we were dressed in plaid, but I heard someone yelling, "Hey @ss Gagger!" Looked over to see Panther on the porch of the Ginger Man, so we went there instead to hang out with the Austin Duathletes. They were watching the Austin Crit. Dang, those guys are FAST! And the duathletes knew one of the guys in the top 3 of the race.

You can see all of the pics here.

13 hours +

Wow. I must have been thoroughly exhausted because I got home at 5:20pm last night and was in bed by 5:30pm. Woke up briefly at 11pm, but snoozeland was not far away after about 20 minutes. Then up at 7:15am. What a great weekend I must've had!

I've got pictures from the Keep Austin Weird 5K that I don't think I've posted yet. Need to finish uploading pics from the hash and Slezak's birthday party at lunch. More later....

PV, Here I Come!

Found a rego today for IAH2007 in Puerto Vallarta, so I am going!!! MeatGazer talked me into it after CoTex. I said if I can find a cheaper one that someone was selling, then I'd go.

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I am still a little buzzed from last night.....

Wanna Try alli? Wear Dark Pants.

Oh my goodness. I just laughed my ass off reading this. Late Nite sent it to me and I had to share with everyone else, in case you aren't on any DC lists.....

This is a seriously funny article about the new weight-loss drug, alli. It's kind of long, but the really funny stuff's at the end.

alli: Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect

I found this news on Salon.com and felt compelled to throw my 2c in. There's a "new" over-the-counter drug available in the US that's apparently flying off the shelves. It's called alli (note the way trendy lower case!) and I use the term "new" loosely because it's apparently a lower strength version of a prescription-only drug (Xenical) that's been around for a while.

So what does this incredibly popular wonder drug do? Well, not to go all Bill Clinton on you, but it depends on what your definition of "do" is. You see, there's (1)what the drug company markets it as, (2)the medical description of what it does and (3)the biggest effect you're actually going to notice.

The drug company markets it as a weight loss pill. They say it will give "safe, effective weight loss." Because it's FDA approved it must be good. What could possibly go wrong?

A simplified medical description of the drug is that it's a fat blocker. It stops your body from absorbing some of the fat in your diet. It doesn't burn calories. But fat that would have otherwise been absorbed by your body… isn't. Because fat contains calories less calories will go into your body.

But here's the most important thing the drug does: it makes you shit oil. Worse, it makes you shit your pants. With oil. This is not the ravings of some fringe conspiracy group, this is what the company tells you itself on its website. Buy our drug if you want to lose weight. Oh, by the way, you'll end up shitting your pants.

Neat, huh? No wonder it's selling so well. That large sector of the public that enjoy having their pants filled with liquified shit has been seriously under-catered to up until now. The drug company indulges in classic marketing bullshit that really pisses me off but they still fail to obscure the horror of what's going to happen to you if you take their drug. The first bit of marketing bullshit they spin that makes me want to smack them in the fucking head is the old "eat healthier and exercise more to get the full benefits."

Hello?!?!?! If you eat less fat and exercise you don't need their fucking pills. I'm sick of these sleazy companies pretending that they're promoting health. They're promoting bad habits and laziness. The subtext to the whole thing is "this drug lets you lose weight with NO exercise and NO change to your eating patterns." People who can eat healthier and exercise more aren't interested in this shit. But the company doesn't think it'll get away with an advertising slogan along the lines of "Fuck diet and exercise! Take these pills and shit your weight away!" The second thing they do that pisses me off is deliberately using language designed to obscure the full horror of the effects of their drug. They can't even come clean and call them "side-effects", instead going with "treatment effects." Hell, maybe they're right, these aren't side effects. Side effects are incidental to the main effects. Shitting your pants is the main effect of this drug. It literally is the treatment effect.

Try as they might, their weasel words can't hide how horrible their drug actually is. Following are actual quotes from their website followed by Mr Angry's no bullshit translation.

Website Bullshit (WSBS): You may get: gas with oily spotting, loose stools more frequent stools that may be hard to control.
No BS: The following things will happen to you: You will spray oil when you fart You will have diarrhoea You will be shitting constantly and you will lose control of your bowels to the point where you shit your pants

WSBS: The excess fat that passes out of your body is not harmful. In fact, you may recognize it as something that looks like the oil on top of a pizza.
No BS: Oh dear god. Pizza is one of my favourite foods and these evil fucks have done their best to turn me off it for life. It will be very hard to look at a pizza again without wondering if someone on this drug has taken a shit on it.

WSBS: Eating a low-fat diet lowers the chance of these bowel changes. (my emphasis)
No BS: Even if you do cut back on fat, you're still going to shit oil.

WSBS: …pick a day to begin taking alli, such as a weekend day so you can stay close to home if you experience a treatment effect.
No BS: Do not go out in public after taking this drug. You are going to shit yourself. Stay close to a toilet.

WSBS: If you're getting ready to travel or attend a social event, hold off on starting with alli until the event is over.
No BS: Don't say you weren't warned. You are seriously going to shit yourself.

WSBS: You may not usually get gassy, but it's a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens.
No BS: You're old life is over. Forget what you think you know about your body. You are going to fart uncontrollably. And there will be follow-through. This is not going to be something you want to share.

And my absolute favourite (which is to say, the part of the website that horrifies me most): "You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it's probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work."
Oh. My. Fucking. God. They are so sure you are going to shit your pants they are saying you should accept the inevitable. There is no way to avoid this. So wear dark pants to hide the liquid shit stains. And bring a change of clothes. Because your first set are going to get impregnated with liquid shit. To me, this is the ultimate evidence that western society is utterly fucked. You can tell people that taking a pill will make them shit their pants uncontrollably. And your pill will be an utterly out of control success.

There was also a link to a video where you could "watch alli in action". I assume this is a video showing people shitting their pants. I couldn't bring myself to look. Try a video you might be able to stomach - I've done a video version of this post for your viewing pleasure.

278 Comments Filed under General Angriness
Anthony June 20th, 2007 at 2:43 pm That's awesome! Teach people better eating habits through negative reinforcement. Of course, it'll make getting out to do the excersise part a little risky. What ever you do, don't let one rip in the pool or we'll have to get greenpeace in to clean up the oil slick. I'd love to know how much worse the full strength version is…

Colorado: DIM Hash

After the fun at Pikes Peak, we went to Arctic Brewery for the DIM Hash (Damn It's Monday) pre-lube, then over to the start of the hash. Sigh...my last night in town. :(
Brownie gave me a heads up that the DIM hash is usually long and quite competitive, so I opted to auto-wank. An out of shape sea level jogger can't keep up with super fit folks at 7,000 feet!

At the 1st beer check before security busted us and made us move....


Brownie lost a fight with a tree!



I heart Meatgazer!


Bone Blower's homemade cakes were scrumptious!


Let's see...what happened that evening.... Just Rylan was named at the hash that night. He shall now be forever known as I Think Of You When I Masturbate. Hilarious! Something about text messages he was sending to folks on other's phones without the person knowing.

After everyone ate from the taco bar, Bone brought out 2 cakes he made from scratch for his sister's birthday (Dairy Godmother). Wow. Amazing. I didn't even wait for a plate.

After lots and lots of Honey Brown beer, it was finally time to head home to shower, pack and get some rest before my 6am flight. The usual occurred....Meat and I hugged goodbye and out come the tears. Silly girls. You should just move here already! Well, once again, I am thinking about it....

You can see all of the DIM Hash pics here.

Look Mom, Pikes Peak!

The fun in Colorado wasn't over on Sunday night. Monday morning I went to the PC with Charlotte, Executive Spread and Bleeder Boy. Aww, my last meal there during this trip. So sad. I just love that place. Gary is so witty, I could sit in there all day long just chatting with him and other customers....and did I mention the gravy?? Dee-lish!

So we then ventured up to the top of Pikes Peak. Wow. What an amazing view. Absolutely gorgeous up there, not to mention the light-headed, giddy feeling that hit all of us. We ran around like 12 year olds, playing in the snow and taking a million pictures...and of course, bought out the souvenir shop like good little tourists.

"Hey look! A beaver!" Oh Bleeder....you cracked us all up that day. :)

If you want to check out all the pics from Pikes Peak (as well as photos from my hike through GOTG and Red Rocks Open Space), click HERE.

Colorado: Tejon Street Pub Crawl

Upon returning back to the Springs from CoTex, we got cleaned up and headed over to Nappy's House. Cabbed it downtown to the start. Sunday night was the Tejon Street Pub Crawl! They aren't hashers, but they sure act like it. They even sing one of our songs...with slightly different lyrics at one point, but close enough. Out of the 10 bars on the schedule, we hit 6 of them. Pretty good for the night at the end of a hash weekend and for it being a Sunday. And it was a great time! Worked out nicely that it fell on the weekend I was in Colorado. :)

You can see all of the pub crawl madness here.

Off to Houston

I am heading to Houston straight from work today. Got a Memorial Mass to attend tomorrow morning. A good friend of mine lost his mom to cancer. He now lives in DC, but his parent's house is in Houston. Haven't seen him in quite some time.

I will be staying with my friend Julie while in town. At least tonight I will finally get to see the new condo she purchased, as well as a bunch of my old Sports Monkey friends. It's their softball league night, so I am heading straight for the Houston Sportsplex when I get into town.

I haven't been to Houston in ages. Wish it were for other circumstances....

Colorado: MOPP Hash & CoTex 8

Ok, so I LOVE COLORADO! But what's new? If you know me at all, you know that I've loved it since I was a little girl. My family and another one would go on ski trips together. Good times, good times.

Anyway, so I got into Colorado Springs last Wednesday night. Brownie, being the nice friend that he is, picked me up and we went straight to a dive bar called the El Dorado. We had the run of the entire place. Just us two, the bartender and the bored karaoke guy. And no, we didn't sing.

Thursday, I had all day to play around and explore by myself. Had a list of things to do. But Brownie had to work in Pueblo that day at the last minute. Crikey! Well, his awesome girlfriend came to the rescue. Brownie drove her car to work in Pueblo, I took her to work and then had Brownie's Jeep all day. Dani rocks! So I go back to change and gather stuff and then off to the Purple Castle for a hearty breakfast. Had a great time there, chatting with Sue and Gary. I go out to head towards the Garden of the Gods when whammy...the Jeep won't start. Seriously?? I drove Dani to work, then to the apartment, then to the PC and everything was normal then. Luckily, a nice mechanic happened to be eating at the PC and he came out to help me. Then Gary, the owner, came out to see if he could help. Man, that place rocks for service. :) If you are ever in the Springs, be sure and go check it out. You will definitely have a good time. Just beware....their green chile is HOT! Unfortunately, their web site is down, otherwise I'd give you the link.

Turns out, the battery needed to be replaced. We barely even got it jumped to get it over to the shop. So about 3 hours down the drain and I'm finally back on the road to the GOTG. Drove around and hiked around parts. Took a bunch of pics. The rock formations are just so beautiful. At one point, I was trying to set up a self-timer photo of myself by the Siamese Twins. Didn't quite turn out...got a pic of me running over to it. Then some tourists came to my rescue. They took pics of me and I took pics of them. Worked out nicely. Here is one below with my head popping up through the hole of the Siamese Twins with Pikes Peak in the background. Thanks nice tourists!


It was now time to go check out Red Rocks Open Space. I was told to follow the Contemplative Trail. After milling around for a little bit, I finally found it. I should have looked at the map at the start a little longer! It was pretty and less touristy.


I ran out of time and had to head back to Brownie's to get ready for the MOPP hash. But of course, there was a pre-lube at Arctic and I was reunited with my Meatgazer! That place is a hasher's heaven.




Then we were off to the start of the MOPP hash. Much debauchery occurred on this trail. Damn, I need to take it easy before a big hash weekend where altitude is involved! At Benny's, they apparently serve MAJORLY STRONG liquor drinks. My vodka & 7 was pretty much all vodka with a splash of 7. I definitely paid for that on Friday...and part of Saturday. Oh yeah....thanks to FTB Boy for making me go close my tab at the last bar. Sorry that you didn't remember to close yours! Some New Mexico friends of mine finally made it to the Springs around 1am. At least I was smart and only had water at this point while my friend drank.

All the pics from the MOPP Hash are here.

Friday morning we headed to the PC for breakfast before our road trip to CoTex. Brownie and BBC tried to clean their plates....very large cheeseburgers with fries. I don't think Brownie made it. Man, he looked miserable. But at least he didn't yack it all up later like some other fool. Of course, I almost threw up when I saw the inside of the toilet in Brownie's backyard. Yes, you read that correctly. It was all green and disgusting.

When we stopped in Woodland Park for a beer on the way, I opted for water. Then went to the bathroom to yack...not once, but twice. Holy hell, Friday wasn't starting out very well and it damn sure didn't end well. But that's another story for another time.

Hopefully, you've read CoTex updates on other blogs, so I won't go into details. Here is one pic that sums up Saturday.....oreos....the new measurement.......How many are you?



All my pics from CoTex 8 - South Park are here.