Of signs, icy roads and 600 cups o' beer!

On Saturday, Feb 18, a group of us met over at HEAVIN' SEMEN'S house to make signs for our buddies running in the Freescale Marathon the next morning. I missed the dinner they prepared because I was at a family dinner at Z-Tejas. Wow...tried something new this time. The stuffed pork tenderloin was absolutely amazing! I hung out at my mom's place for a bit and then headed over to the sign-making party. Had to scrape off a bunch of ice from my windshield before I could even drive off. The roads eventually iced up while at HEAVIN' SEMEN'S, so many of us just crashed at her place. Besides, they were shutting down Anderson Mill Road at 6:30am...who would really be able to get back to her place that early after a long night of drinking? I barely made it off the futon at 7:15am!

We piled on our warm clothes and headed over to mile 1 of the race. I must say that CORNHOLIO'S sign was a hit, as well as PADRE'S dog. [I have no idea how to spell her name...Kachina?] She was "singing" for the runners, which put a smile on everyone's face. It was fun being on the cheering end of a race. And everyone was very thankful that we had come out so early.






KEEP AUSTIN WEIRD!







Next it was time to head down to the beer check at mile 25. I had to make a pit stop at my place to charge my camera batteries and pack my hash bag. Once I arrived at the beer check, I didn't care that it was cold. I had a blast giving out beer to all the runners. Some had to be talked into it, some were excited and thanked us for being there and some people looked at us like we were crazy. All I know is that we passed out 600 cups of beer which drained 2 kegs. Way to go team! Oh yeah, and a big shout out to BUBBLES THE SAD BEER CLOWN for waking up at 4:30am in order to get the beer down to mile 25 before all the streets were blocked off. You rock!

BUBBLES the Beer Meister

After the last beer was handed out, FISH, STRAP-ON and I went to Cabana for a quick bite to eat before the hash. We arrived to the parking lot of BROWNIE'S favorite business...Wal-Mart! WHOREO and BUBBLES had some delicious hot rum cider to warm us up. Damn that stuff was good. The day was pretty crappy though. Maybe it was the fact that we had been up all freakin day, standing out in the cold. I guess I'd just had enough and wanted a hot shower and a nap. So yes, I auto-wanked. Just didn't feel like doing anything. Circle finally ended and I bolted for home sweet home. Screw the On-On-On.

Pics from sign-making party & beer check

Pics from Feb 19 Hash

Word of the Year

Way to go Brownie! Brokeback named word of the year!!!

Longhorn loves his Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity

If you were a top NFL draft prospect, what would be the first thing you'd buy? This guy is gonna buy a house...with a blue roof....read the last paragraph.

This Longhorn wants his pancakes...and shrimp. I'm gagging!

LaLa's Teaser Pics

So there we were at LaLa's last night to say our goodbyes to Banana Creme Pie before she heads off to Colorado. Here is a sneak preview of the pics.

Banana Creme Pie!


If only those jeans weren't in the way!

You Are Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

Creative. Expressive. Unique.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

This is actually one of my favorite kinds of ice cream. And just looking at that waffle cone makes me want to go get some during lunch......

Sleepy Time Galore!

I'm so sorry HIPPIE SWALLOW!!! Hope your night of debauchery was a blast last night. Anyone take pictures?? And tell me about that Cork & Company place.

Seems I was in need of some rest. I decided to take an hour nap last night at 6pm. Then I was going to get up, get ready and head to Trudy's for Stef's birthday celebration. Ummm, yeah, I got out of bed at 7:15am this morning! WTF?!?!?

So, obviously I missed the drunken debauchery, did not work on my study/second bedroom and did not upload any more pics to post. :(

At least I'll be rested to work on my darn study this evening. Wendy begins to move in tomorrow! I'm thinking of having some drinks while I'm working, if any of you muscular guys want to stop by. I need help moving one piece of furniture about 2 feet. That big armoire in my bedroom just needs to be slid/pushed down a wee bit, but I can't do it on my own! Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

P.S. I still have Gooey Butter Cake/Cheesecake Brownies...Fish, they are much better chilled rather than straight out of the oven!

OTR V-day

So on Valentine's Day, the single OTR girls [and "single for the night girls"] got together for some good food, good drinks and fun with karaoke. It all started at HEAVIN' SEMEN'S house. She whipped up some damn good tacos [sorry guys, no fish tacos...we were in need of some meat], the always delicious jalapeno ranch dip and a bunch of chocolate covered strawberries. Yum Yum. After we were all stuffed, had many drinks and were tired of playing with the dildo, it was time to head to the Water Tank for some karaoke. I believe TROJAN started it all off. What she didn't know was that she was going to have some impromptu back up dancers. Don't know how she continued singing and didn't bust out laughing. I would have been rolling on the floor!

HEAVIN' SEMEN did her Axel Rose impression during her song. She's got the moves down! Can't remember which G-n-R song it was though. Also singing for the crowd was BIDET MATE, JUST LESLEY and CHERRY POPPER. Speaking of CHERRY...she made friends with some of the regulars. One in particular we named Crocodile Dundee. Get any digits CHERRY?? FREE MEAT, did you end up singing too? All I can remember is your kick ass Super Girl underwear!

Soon after, STRAP-ON ELVIS and (MASSIVE) SLUT SLINGER crashed our little girl party. We didn't mind though...those guys rock and always put smiles on our faces.

Oh yeah, I forgot to give a warning regarding the ICBINM campout pics...there's no nudity in these photos, just dildo shots! Ok BUZZ, I took it off the front page...just for you! It's now only in the photo gallery. :)

V-day Pics

Strawberries & Piñatas, yadda, yadda, yadda

Ok, so I know I am behind on posting my pictures. Many of you have asked when I was gonna get them out there. Well, the day has finally come! I'll post them in chronological order: ICBINMH3 Campout, OTR VD celebration, Freescale Marathon pre-party and beer check and the Feb 19 Hash.

So there we were...loading up our stuff at TUCK IT & DBD'S house, getting ready for our trip to the Strawberry Capital of Texas on Friday, Feb 10....Poteet, TX on Friday, Feb 10. We decided to get a head start on our long journey to the Valley on Saturday, so we all crashed at VAGITARIAN'S parent's house the night before. Her parents are super cool...made us some pizza and snacks and even played 3-Man with us! Our group was: VAGITARIAN, TUCK IT, DBD, STRAP-ON ELVIS, (MASSIVE) SLUT SLINGER, babyG and myself. Man, does this group know how to party. babyG was quite a sneaky drunk...she kept stealing candy that we were using to play some game later that night and was eating it. Have no idea what the heck it was, but it was fun. At one point, SLUT decided he was too lazy to walk upstairs to use the restroom, so he decided to use the same one he had used all night. Only thing was, VAG was in there taking a shower. She was smart and locked the door since so many drunk hashers were around, but that didn't stop SLUT. He picked the lock and let himself in!

Only other thing I remember about that night was the crazy moving clock. At the top of every hour, the clock broke apart into pieces and moved around and then went back into it's original place. This was quite amusing and a little freaky when you've been drinking and you didn't really expect it. I wanted to get a picture of it, but kept forgetting to set my watch alarm to remind me. Had to keep staying up another hour until I finally got the damn picture!

Bright and early, TUCK IT the morning Nazi woke us all up...before my alarm even went off. What's up with that? Anyway, he did a good job of rounding us all up and off we went for breakfast at Don Juan's. All the folks in the restaurant stared at us as we arrived. Could it be because we were all wearing the exact same shirt? We thought we'd arrive to the campout in style, showing off STRAP-ON'S T-shirt design. Next, the guys tried to convince the cute waitress to come camping with us. No such luck. Sorry guys...but hey, she was a youngin'. Afterwards, I convinced the others to stop at the huge strawberry for photos...ended up pretty funny.

At some point during the drive, GAYLORD FOCKER caught up with us and joined our caravan. We hauled ass to Donna, Texas because everyone was anxious to set up camp and begin partying. Camp was set up, kegs were tapped and "immunization shots" of tequila were given. LOVED that! I am soooo borrowing that idea and using it at Texas Interhash. :) Met a bunch of cool, fun, friendly folks. I can't wait to hash with the Not Mexico folks, as well as the Corpus group sometime in the near future.
Immunization shots!

Let's see....what else do I remember.... Oh yeah, SLUT decided to take a nap quite early. Next thing I know, GAYLORD is in his truck, kicking up dust and exhaust into SLUT'S tent. That'll teach him to nap! Some pastries were brought out to snack on. Luckily I tried one before GAYLORD and GUAM got their hands on them. Let's just say some of them had a certain tequila taste to 'em....

It was soon time for trail. The hare took off and we passed the time with some songs. I particulary liked one that GAYLORD sang. He did a pirate version to that Button Factory worker song. Hilarious. Arrrrrrrgh! It was then time to take off in search of trail. At the first beer check, we were instructed to exchange one item of clothing. I happened to be standing next to STRAP-ON, so next thing I know, he is trying to put on my shirt. Umm, yeah, was a little too small. Hopefully it didn't get too stretched out. Once we finally arrived at the On-In, we took some quick photos and piled into the cow trailer for the ride back to camp. For some reason, CHEF decided to ride on the outside of the trailer...with his pants down. Hope he didn't get too scratched up from all the branches we ended up running into. Oh yeah, and check out the picture of $3...he got snared and they took his pants. That's why he looks like he is wearing MC Hammer pants....it's really his shirt!

Next, it was time for circle. Don't recall a whole lot of it, but I do remember folks drinking out of a huge drinking vessel. Man, they threw some nasty stuff in that pail. I love Cheetos and all, but I don't want to drink them. Luckily, I never had to drink out of it. Sometime after circle it was finally piñata time! Once it was broken open, the ground was covered in chiclets and condoms. You'd think money was on the ground the way everyone rushed to grab the goods. Fun times, fun times.

Yadda, yadda, yadda. More partying went on. In the RV, out by the fire, etc. A good time was had by all.

And dangit...I forgot to bring out the stuff to make S'mores!!! Oh well...there is always TX Interhash.

Pics from the Valley - Beware, there is some nudity!

Welcome our newest blog buddy....BATT

Bad Ass Tongue Tricks finally created a blog. Everyone go check it out and say hello to this super cool chick.

BATT

Vaginal Rejuvenation?

Saw this on the Anderson Cooper 360 Blog and thought it was fitting for today! On the drive down to the Valley this past weekend, we saw a billboard advertising this as well. Had no idea this procedure was sweeping the nation.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

You too can be a 40-year-old virgin

Someone told me that women are having their vaginas rejuvenated. That's right, rejuvenated and reconstructed and revirginized even. I thought they were kidding. But my producer and I looked into it, and sure enough, it's an emerging surgical trend.

Vaginal rejuvenation costs thousands of dollars and is done with a laser. It includes a variety of procedures, such as women getting their labia made smaller because it is uncomfortable for them to engage in physical activity or have intercourse, women getting their vaginal canal tightened as it was pre-baby delivery, and other women going one step further by getting their hymen (the gateway to the vaginal canal) tightened. This last procedure can, in a sense, make a woman a virgin again.

In many instances, the women who get this surgery need it for medical reasons. But not all. Some women do this as a gift to their husband or significant other.

I interviewed one couple for this story who has been married 18 years and has two children. The wife recently had her hymen replaced as an anniversary gift for her husband. We also talked with the doctor who did the surgery and even got to be in the operating room during another woman's surgery.

You can see the video (the PG version) tonight, February 14th, Valentine's Day. These women say it's the perfect gift. But beware, it isn't cheap.

Just for you, Wet Spot

Hee hee hee.....Go 'Stros! Shoot the Red Birds!

I made friends with the security guy during batting practice so I could get up closer. And whammy! Cutie Brandon Backe [pitcher] rolled me one of the practice balls as he came into the dugout.
Oh yeah, and the pitching coach [Jim Hickey] is one hot Dad.

#5: Tie between 2 Astros and a Packer: Brad Ausmus, Lance Berkman & Brett Favre

Can't wait for April to hit...road trips to Houston are in my future!

Brad





Berkman

This pic was taken right after beating the Cardinals in the 2005 NLCS.

Brett

How can I not love a fellow tongue sticker-outer?!

...the List Continued: #4 George Clooney

Baby A's, Sailing, Crotch Rot's B-day Hash & the Boring Bowl

FRIDAY, FEB 3: Baby A's
Ok, so the weekend started off with a little happy hour at Baby A's on Friday night. Hadn't seen many non-hasher friends in quite some time...actually since a wedding we were in back in November. Entirely too long! Ever since I started hashing, I don't see my other friends much at all. Doesn't help that most of them have recently gotten hitched and are domesticated now. Boring! Well, guess who showed up at this non-hasher happy hour? Several hashers I know! Turns out that my good friend who put this shindig together has a younger sister [JUST BARBARA] who is friends with the wives of a couple hashers. Actually, the wives hash more frequently now too. It was good seeing my old buddies again and good to intermingle the two groups. One non-hasher was gonna have a baby in 4 days and she still came out. What a trooper! Anyway, before I bore you too much longer..... Here are the pics.

SATURDAY, FEB 4: Sailing on the Infinity!
Met up at the Keever's house at noon. Waited for slow-ass Marisa [FREE MEAT] to show up...she was on "Asian time," as she calls it. Finally headed out to Lake Travis to meet up with the rest of the crew. It was a beautiful day with some good wind. Actually, there was one gust that was so strong I thought I might fall overboard. I was actually more worried that my camera would fall in! Rob's beer went flying and somehow I managed to grab it before it went over into the water. CUMONAWANALAYA got a laugh because she saw how I immediately grabbed the railing and asked just how far this thing could lean without tipping over. Ok, so I've only been on a sail boat 4-5 times in my life. I'm used to ski boats and pontoons. Just need more practice, wink wink. Speaking of practice, Rob taught me how to wrap one of the lines/ropes around some thingeemabobber and I got to use the winch to crank it. Was that when we had to do a change of tack? Trimming the sail? Whatever you call it, it was fun! Man, I DO NOT know sailing terminology.

We were out on the water for a good 5-6 hours. Such a gorgeous day. Had many toasts to Todd with our Lone Stars and Black Bush whiskey [was his birthday]. Sucks that I never got to meet him. Afterwards, I ended up riding with Hovis and Marisa because the Keever's wanted to hit Chuy's. We decided to make a quick stop at the Anderson Mill Tavern. They wouldn't serve Marisa because she didn't have her ID with her and Hovis immediately went to the restroom. Next thing we know, the bartender is telling us that our friend is puking all over the bathroom. We walk over and slightly open the door to ask if he needs anything. He said everything was good. Good for him I guess, but not for the person who had to clean that crap up! Reason #1 to not work in a bar. Anyway, the bartender didn't even want to give him a glass of water because she said he would just throw that up too. So we hi-tailed it to Burger King for food. Got back to the Keever's and it was time for beer pong. Apparently, Hovis recovers quickly because he started drinking more once beer pong started up. Speaking of, I'm getting better at the Austin version. Whoo-hoo! :)

Sailing Pics

Sunday, FEB 5: Crotch Rot's B-day Hash
Had quite a few hares for this trail: blASSt ZONE, CUMONAWANALAYA, PADRE, FREE MEAT & I PEE FREELY. Started at Buddy's Place, which immediately reminded me of the good times had during the Burnet Road Challenge. Had a beer check at the end of a bridge...I got there after the old neighbor ran everyone off from next to his house...a shot check in the driveway at the house where Crotch Rot used to live, then a beer check at Ginny's Little Longhorn. Got in some good running, mixed in with some walking and good conversation. I PEE FREELY cooked some badass curry and rice. Left a nice slow burn on my lips. Damn, that guy can cook! Cirlce ended a little earlier than expected due to the cops that suddenly appeared. Seems we were disturbing someone. What? The one small apartment complex surrounded by warehouses got mad at a little noise on Super Bowl Sunday? We swang low and then headed for TUCK IT & DBD's house for a little football party.

Pics from Crotch Rot's B-day Hash

Super Bowl Party:
Once at TUCK IT's, the dice were brought out and 3-Man had begun. We didn't really pay much attention to the game because there was more excitement going on outside on the deck. I met $3 SHORT OF A DONKEY here. He is the one putting together the ICBINMH3 Campout, so that was cool. Looks like it's gonna be another great hash weekend. Oh yeah, and check out STRAP-ON ELVIS'S blog to see the T-shirt design. Super cool. Had a few drunkards at the party [FISH, I PEE FREELY]. Man, they were amusing. Yadda, yadda, yadda....everyone had a good time.

Here are the pics

On-On to my bed. One hour and 15 minutes and I will finally get some rest...so don't even think about trying to talk me into going out tonight. You know I can't say no. I have to pack for the weekend and buy stuff for Brass Monkeys anyway. Turning ringer off now..... Ok, not really, but maybe later.

Ciao!

#3 on my list: Mark Hoppus

Anyone even know who he is? He has a great sense of humor, he sings, plays the bass guitar and oh yeah...he's cute. He and his 2 band mates ran around naked in one of their videos...ring any bells yet? Call it my skater boy crush...

I'm horny

Welcome our newest blog buddy

Everyone welcome STRAP-ON ELVIS to our little blog party. He finally got the bug and created one. Another sucker to get addicted to our world of internet fun!

The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick

You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times. Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness! Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

The List...continued

#2: VINCE VAUGHN

Loved him ever since the movie Swingers...yum, yum, yum. Who doesn't love a fast-talkin' witty guy?
"You're so money and you don't even know it!"

Got Tagged...Here is #1 on my List

Ok, so I got tagged by WET SPOT. Here is my list.....and her original post explaining what this list is about:

So you know the Friends episode where Ross has a list of the five women he could sleep with "for free" if he ever got the chance, whether he was married, in a relationship, etc? Today you'll see my list....in no particular order.

#1: RYAN REYNOLDS

Do you even know who he is? LOVED, LOVED, LOVED him as Berg in Two Guys, a Girl & a Pizza Place and in National Lampoon's Van Wilder. Alanis better watch her back.

Rednecks

Thought some of these were funny. Maybe it's because of the late hour and I'm getting sleepy.


Who needs bungee cords when you have duct tape?


Rednecks like to ski




Redneck Spring Break

Redneck Engagement Announcement...nice shirt dude!
Redneck Wedding Cake

Retard Hash: January 29, 2006

Soccer was the theme today... I finally made the hike way down to South Austin and found the Slaughter Creek Park. Who knew there were soccer fields there? Got a few weird looks because of my socks. Hey, I thought there was going to be some crazy shiggy since the trail was listed as not being dog friendly...and it was too hot to wear pants. So suck it! I love my soccer socks. We waited longer than normal for chalk talk to start, which was a good thing because my friend JUST LESLEY didn't listen to my directions and used her Yahoo map directions. Yep, she got lost. Maybe next time she will listen to me! Anyway, the RA's decided to circle up some folks for Sexercices. Finally we had chalk talk and the pack was sent off...but no sight of Lesley yet.

It took FOREVER to find the beginning of trail. Everyone wandered around for at least 10 minutes before we found true trail. Somehow I managed to get lost again...this is becomming a pattern for me lately. Then I stumbled upon hop-a-long FISH. Seems he severely twisted his ankle. So I walked with him for a while. Caught up with GREAT DANE PAIN and 2 others. We fell for a false and then.....BN! We were the DFL's at the beer check. And who is sitting there drinking a cold beer? JUST LESLEY! She arrived late and still beat my ass into the beer check. Way to go newbie. BTW, she just bought a Camelbak, so she is in this for the long haul. Whoo-hoo! She didn't get scared away. :)

The pack took off shortly after the DFL's opened their beer, so I just ran with mine. Even threw the empty bottle into a recycling bin on someone's driveway...Austin hashers are so good. Later on, the pack couldn't solve a check. Nobody could find trail. A big group started heading down a long, grassy area...still nothing. I wondered why everyone was still going in this direction with no hash marks. Lesley wanted to keep going in this direction since so many others were, so we did. Wish I would have known that STAYFREE WITH WINGS was leading the pack! That boy is crazy. We finally decided to turn around and go back to the check and eventually found trail, thanks to STAYFREE. At one point we were on a street named Mala Suerte. Who would want to live on that street?! Finally, we made it to the On-In. Some co-worker of EASY ACCESS. Did she know what she was getting herself in to...letting a bunch of hashers into her home?

Circle didn't last as long as it could have because the hares [SOCIAL RETARD & EASY ACCESS] ran out of beer! Crikey! How could they have let that happen? It was just before I was going to be called out with someone else who found a soccer ball on trail....

Oh yeah, and at the On-On-On at Detours, I finally met BIG BLOODY KETCHUP. Had heard that name many times before, but didn't know who the heck he was. After several beers it was time to make the trek back up to the Northside.

Here are the Pics

Hash Trash from Social Retard's Trail

Pics from Wet Spot's Visit; Crazy Bubba Hash Day; DOTA Hash

Friday, January 20, 2006: WET SPOT came into town and I met them at Graffiti's right at closing time (midnight). Got there late because my little nap ended up lasting 4 1/2 hours! Man, what as I so tired from? Anyway, we then went to Raggedy Anne's for karaoke. Here are the pics.

Saturday, January 21, 2006: My 1st Bubba Hash.
This was a LONG, but super-fun day. It all started at FREE MEAT'S house with screwdrivers for breakfast, then lunch at Pho #1, then we raced to BFE South Austin for the Southside Bubba Hash, drinks at Ski Shores on Lake Austin after the hash, Chuy's for dinner (well, a few people ate dinner...all I wanted was the jalapeno ranch dip!), then karaoke and beer pong at the Keever's. Did I mention that everyone lost the trail marks 1/2 way through? Nobody could figure out what was going on. Since the hare told me it was A to A, we just decided to head back to the parking lot where we knew there was beer! That'll teach HIGH BEAMS for giving out the details. Had a blast at Ski Shores [little dive on Lake Austin]. Not used to getting there via a car though! And how can you not have fun at the Keever's place? Karaoke and beer pong all night long. Even if they don't play the Beirut version, it's still a blast. Luckily, I PEE FREELY joined us after work over at the Keever's, so he was our new DD. At the end of the night we all piled into the "Meat Wagon" and he took us back to our cars. Thank goodness I live 2 minutes from FREE MEAT... Click here for pics.

Sunday, January 22, 2006: DOTA (Drunkest Of Them All) Hash.
I was originally asked to help be a shot girl at one of the shot checks. Guess DOTA's don't always remember things they request. So I show up ready to be an assistant to the hares and get asked why I didn't run off with the pack after chalk talk. What? I remind them that I'm helping at the shot checks and SLUT and FISH looked completely baffled. Seems FISH already forgot about our conversation from the night before when he told me to wear my plaid skirt from Tex-Mex. Drunkard. I had planned on changing into it after the pack took off. I say, "at least I won't have to drink with all the hares during circle then." WRONG. I get called out for being a "Hare Groupie." So I drank everytime the hares drank anyway. Click here for pics.

Link to DOTA Hash Trash